Why do we as humans place ourselves in undesirable positions just to fill our humanly sense of belonging? Why do we feel the need to continue those undesirable positions instead of choosing our own method of fulfilling our sense of belonging? Why do we hold onto past and present unsatisfying circumstances instead of opening ourselves to a better potential for the future?
As a student of psychology, these are some of the questions I find interesting. Could the reasoning be due to a practice of conformity in some manner? We as humans understand the innate desire and need of belonging; however, the lengths that people will go in order to fulfill that desire can be complex. Research does suggest we have a tendency to fear the unknown to an extent. Maybe that could be the cause of such behavior.
Sometimes we tend to hold on to the past and present in fear of what the future holds. This makes sense as to why people will continue placing themselves in undesirable circumstances in order to fulfill their need, knowing the future is an unknown territory. The main question of concern targets the idea of to what extent will people hold onto unhappy positions instead of opening the door to more desirable circumstances in the future.
As a personal example, I was a part of an organization for three years of my life. Throughout those three years, I had to convince myself how this organization was for me even if I was gaining more negative perceptions than positive ones. I refused to release myself from the undesirable circumstance because that became the only thing I knew. That organization became normal — it became by comfort zone. The undesirable feelings became normal. I couldn’t imagine not being in the organization.
After much debate and conversations with friends and family, I chose to make the hardest decision and begin opening myself up to other desirable opportunities. Sure, what I came to know was gone. Those three years just felt different once I was forced to reform my perceptions of knowing. In giving up the past three years of my life, I have found a desirable position in my life, filled with like-minded people. I do still wonder about my past opportunities; however, I have felt as if a burden has been lifted off of my shoulders.
Are you finding yourself stuck in an undesirable position and feeling as if that is the only thing for you? One thing I have learned is you are never stuck and decisions to leave are difficult. You may believe there is nothing else, or you’re just going to “stick it out.” Why we continue to place ourselves in these types of decisions is interesting to say the least. Sure, it may be what we are used to and comfortable with; however, I am a firm believer that when one door closes, another one will open. Don’t force yourself into an unhappy position. Step out of your comfort zone and find your desirable position, without fear of what the future may bring. You would be surprised at what may happen if you do. Life is short and we all deserve to be the happiest version of ourselves.
Thank you all for reading and I will see you soon,
Have a lovely weekend!